By Maddie J.’23 & Zoe P.’23
The sudden stay-at-home order in March 2020 affected everyone and shocked the entire school community, giving schools little to no time to prepare for school to transfer online. This abruptness has affected students and teachers. We interviewed 2 teachers on how the pandemic has affected them, the struggles they faced at the beginning 0f quarantine, and the ones they still face today.
These interviews have been edited for length and clarity.
How has the pandemic affected your mental health?
Teacher 1: The pandemic has most definitely been a continual emotional rollercoaster for me, as it is for everyone else. Along with my responsibility to myself, my immediate blood, and my chosen family, I also feel responsible to show up as an elder during this time in the way that I do my job as a teacher. This is definitely an added weight. While I always feel like I am an elder in the community as a teacher, I definitely felt a lot of internal conflict and strain at the start of shelter-in-place because I was trying to figure out how to best be supportive. In some cases, students wanted direction, some wanted tangible material help for their families, others just need us to get out of the way and allow families to configure their own survival plan. It’s been stressful. It’s been exhausting.
As for teaching, it’s really hard to find and create joy through teaching in crisis and online. When teaching in-person there is so much laughter, so much joy, so much performance from students and adults alike. Online and in-crisis, we are just all drained and none of our emotional and mental needs are being met.
Teacher 2: The pandemic has made me more disciplined about having weekly therapy sessions. Last summer, I had too much time with myself and couldn’t see many people. It was very uncomfortable and hard but I learned to face things about myself that otherwise would’ve been buried under a busy, hectic work life.
Was it difficult to adjust during the beginning of quarantine? Do you feel like it has gotten easier?
Teacher 1: Definitely. I also think that it was difficult to watch and witness the range of coping mechanisms and the range of psyche that presented itself at the start of the pandemic spread here. We all went into different types of modes. Some people were mourning, some were in denial. Some people processed panic by preparing and planning, other people processed panic by shutting down. I think the hardest part is that even though we were all going through something together, we were isolated from each other – all while existing in a capitalist society that decided ‘the show must go on.’ What has been the hardest to adjust to is just how failed our communities have been by the government. Our communities have been forgotten in some cases and harmed in other cases. I think the question of whether or not it’s gotten easier depends on the person you ask. I definitely feel more in control now that I know all that we know about Covid19 and I am fully vaccinated.
Teacher 2: It was not hard for me. I was overwhelmed with life as a teacher and I could finally relax and take advantage of an opportunity to reset.
Do you feel like the change has affected your style of teaching?
Teacher 1: I can hardly even compare what I’m doing online to how I actually teach. So yes, it’s completely different. But this is not a permanent change. I’ve learned to let go of a lot and reprioritize.
Teacher 2: Absolutely. I feel like I can understand the struggles and the resilience of students. Now more than ever, I have to make my lessons as relevant and engaging to my students as possible. I also had to incorporate a lesson or two on mindfulness so that we can all address what can we do to take care of ourselves better. We all deserve to learn more about emotional intelligence and on how to develop healthy coping mechanisms. I know that this information would’ve helped me in my High School years.
What is the best part of virtual learning?
Teacher 1: One of the best outcomes will be increased self-awareness amongst all students and staff. I hope for there to be a lot more understanding and a lot more class solidarity with our students and families. A lot of awakening is coming from this time – on the individual level, on the family level, and throughout the world as a whole. I hope we become more intentional, more kind, more thoughtful communicators and actors in the world.
Teacher 2: The best part is that I actually have time to prepare my classes. I do not spend time commuting or getting ready to work. It’s a dream come true to have more time dedicated to prepare my classes. I teach better when I enjoy my lessons and when I work hard to meet my students half way.
What is the worst part of virtual learning?
Teacher 1: The worst part is definitely the entire thing. I think many of us feel completely failed by the system. For all the creativity, innovation and resourcefulness that teachers are capable of, we were not able to execute a better or more fair offering in a school district that is this big. Our school district was trying to not only run schools, but run mental health services, family supports, food distribution, internet service, etc. In a lot of ways, SFUSD really stepped up to fill huge gaps in our disenfranchised and impoverished communities. I do not see the local media really appreciating the amount of work that the school district has tried to take on during this time.
The worst part will be finding out all of the ways in which students were harmed or felt failed and forgotten by us. The worst part will be finding out how disillusioned so many of our colleagues feel in how they were treated during this time as employees. A lot of damage has been done and there is no way around that. Leaders will need to acknowledge that we are all coming to work everyday whether online or in-person with a lot of pain, resentment, confusion, loss, and so on. These things are not going to just disappear overnight.
Teacher 2: The worst part is not hearing from the students. I cannot know how they are feeling or whether or not they are understanding the lesson. I can’t connect with my students. No amount of prep time can make up for the lack of connection between teachers and students. There have been times where I have been so insensitive and frustrated until I found out what was really going on in the life of my student and decided to change things on my end.
Do you feel that online learning has prohibited you to make connections with your students? If so, how does it affect the way you teach?
Teacher 1: Yes, totally. I feel largely disconnected from everyone I teach. I do not know what most of them look like. In some cases, I don’t even know what they sound like. So I am not really able to teach in the way I would ideally prefer so that I can actually help them develop specific skills, confidence, and so on. This is not just the online aspect, it’s the crisis aspect. I facilitate what I can. I offer what I can. But everytime that I have tried to teach something remotely close to the variety of creative, explorative tasks we would do in my classes, I hit a wall because students don’t have the capacity to engage.
Teacher 2: YES!!! Students are not responsive. Where I once struggled in the classroom to have my student respect me and listen to me, I now struggle for students to respond to me in class. It is sad because it’s not personal when students don’t. They are just are unmotivated and going through so many hardships that I don’t even know of. However, because we are not connected, I have often lost sight of my students struggles and gotten frustrated at them when what they really needed was support. Let’s face it, as teachers, we do not know what students are going through. We do not know how it is to be an adolescent taking online classes during a pandemic.
The Balboa Buc 